Lent: Harry and Sally and the Gang

Tonight, my pastor spoke to us about the value of spiritual friendships.  The sermon was so good to hear -- his words both healed and challenged me regarding my understanding of friendships.  I feel uncomfortable going into detail about what he said, because sometimes things can get warped and distorted.  If you want to hear more, you can listen to the sermon here when it gets posted (probably tomorrow).

But I do want to share something that he brought up that has been on my mind recently.  He challenged us as a church community to learn how to have non-sexualized friendships between men and women.  If in Christ we have a new family of brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers, how can we relate to people of the opposite sex intimately while still maintaining healthy boundaries?

I've always been one of those people who thought like Harry in When Harry Met Sally: men and women can't ever be truly friends.  It's too messy. One person will always look to the other to satisfy an emotional need that goes beyond friendship.  One will always want more than the other, even if it isn't communicated explicitly.  Then, as soon as one person begins a romantic relationship, the friendship disintegrates.

But I've been giving this some more thought lately, especially since dating has been off the table during Lent.  Are my convictions about platonic male/female relationships really convictions? Or are they fears?  Am I reticent to get too close to men because I'm trying to love God and love others?  Or because I'm trying to protect myself (or others) from potential rejection or romantic implications? 

If it's true that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus," (Galatians 3:28) then how is God asking me to lay down my selfish agenda or fears in favor of unity in the Body of Christ?  How can I approach Christian men as brothers rather than potential husbands?

I've been labelling the guys I know and meet as either Dateable or Not Dateable.  In a sense, I've been objectifying men for what they can offer me romantically the same way that some men objectify women for what they can offer them sexually.

Pretty messed up, huh?

More later. Happy Sunday, friends.