Gobble, gobble, gobble...

Two weeks ago, a very wise woman encouraged me to take a break from thinking and just rest. I decided to rest craft. I saw a Thanksgiving turkey on Pinterest made out of a toilet paper roll and construction paper.

Done:

After I made my turkey, I could not stop looking at him. I made tea so that I had an excuse to walk past my turkey. I texted pictures of my turkey to friends and family. I folded my laundry in the kitchen so that I could admire my turkey. I am even writing a blog entry about my turkey.

I took a step back to evaluate this situation when I realized that my affections for this turkey might be somewhat unfounded. After all, it was nothing more than a fake turkey made from recycled bathroom material, paste, and some construction paper. Glue was dripping from its crooked beak. One of the black spots in its googly eyes was stuck so it looked like it had a lazy eye. Its left foot was twice the size of its right foot.

This paper turkey had done nothing to earn my affections. It had very little intrinsic value. In and of itself, it was a pretty useless turkey. But I had made this turkey and I loved it for no other reason apart from the fact that it was mine.

And that is when it hit me. That is how the Lord feels about me – how He feels about us.  When He looks at His children, He delights in us because we are His and He made us – not because we have done anything to earn His love.

This realization was tremendous.  I fear that in “pursuing” God, I can very easily slip into academic or achievement mode. I want to read everything; I want to poll everyone else’s faith, experiences, and opinions; I want formulas and sure-fire methods; I want to gather as much information as possible; I want to have the best relationship with God. Ever.

You can see, then, that without this foundational understanding of God’s love for me first, just as I am, this whole thing becomes about ME, my efforts, and ultimately my failures. But I am, in fact, not at all the point.

In Tim Keller’s book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Keller describes how our identity is founded not in our performance, but entirely in the truth that Christ died for us and now we are blameless and beloved in God’s sight. The book is a real game-changer and will take you about 15 minutes to read (I recommend it to anyone and everyone), but here is one golden passage:

“In Christianity, the moment we believe, God says ‘This is my beloved son in whom I am well-pleased.’ [“See Matthew 3:17”] Or take Romans 8:1 which says ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’. In Christianity, the moment we believe, God imputes Christ’s perfect performance to us as if it were our own, and adopts us into His family. In other words, God can say to us just as He once said to Christ, ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.’ [“Mark 1:11”]” (39-40)

In her book, The Jesus Storybook Bible, Sally Lloyd-Jones describes God’s love for us in simple, soothing poetry:

“I can’t stop loving you.

You are my heart’s treasure.

But I lost you.

Now I am coming back for you.

I am like the sun that gently shines on you,

Chasing away darkness and fear and death.

You’ll be so happy –

You’ll be like little calves running free

In an open field.

I am going to send my Messenger – The Promised One.

The One you have been waiting for.

The Rescuer.”  (174)

How incredible and beautiful and freeing is that?! I am already His. He already loves and pursues me. I can’t earn or achieve His affections.

He loves me despite my crooked beak and lazy eye.


Keller, Timothy. The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. Chorley, UK: 10Publishing, 2012. Print.

Lloyd-Jones, Sally. The Jesus Storybook Bible. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2007. Print.

Introduction

Hello friends!

Today I am joining the ranks of so many who want to capture the world’s attention through the medium of the blog. Like my fellow bloggers, I feel that I have something valuable and important to say. So valuable, in fact, that I am allowing perfect strangers to be privy to my thoughts. Before I launch into my purpose for writing, I feel I should tell you a bit about myself.

I am a recent UNC Chapel Hill graduate. I have spent the majority of my life running myself into the ground, achieving, thinking, pushing, planning, pleasing. I have accumulated quite a resume for myself, but have very little soul or substance behind those two flimsy sheets of paper. Now, having graduated from college, I find myself in a program designed to equip young adults to merge their vocation with their walk with Jesus Christ.

Here is the problem: I am becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that I do not actually have a walk with Christ.  I have spent my life believing that I know God because I have prescribed answers, biblical knowledge, and the understanding that I am a sinner in need of a Savior.  Upon reflection, I now see that my concept of God, the Gospel, and who I am in Christ are relatively rudimentary. I have a vague intellectual understanding of Who my Father in heaven is, but no real relationship with Him.

Essentially, I have information and religious duty, but no heart.

Which brings us to my next problem: I desperately want to know Him. I very much want to seek Him. I want to be His daughter. I want to serve and glorify Him. I just don’t have a concept of what that looks like. And, to be frank, I am afraid of how very much He will change me.

The truth is, I do not believe I am alone in this. I look at Christians around me and see myself mirrored in so many of them.  We believe we know God because we dutifully go to church and Bible study and pay lip service to Him when asked probing questions about our beliefs. After all, what more can we expect when we have so many important things to accomplish?

But I have seen enough now to know that that kind of faith and knowledge of God does not satisfy. I have watched real believers in relationship with God:  their lives are attractive. I have caught glimpses of communion with and the presence of our Heavenly Father: it is too beautiful for me to not chase after.

So I want to invite others into my exploration.  This might seem daunting, but good news: the pressure is off. It’s not on us. God initiates and pursues us first. We only have to respond to His call and trust His promise …

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8